Pastoral Counseling
Helping Carry One Another's Burdens
We don't write our own scripts. If we did, we wouldn't write in dark days. The light would always shine. However, dark days come: illness, unexpected debt, excessive stress, depression, loss of hope, marital problems, issues with our children, the inability to have children, conflict with a friend or enemy, issues with unconfessed sin, and death. This is just a sample listing.
Many people try to deal with their problems by themselves. It is true; sometimes we can work through problems without the help of others. However, part of the responsibility of the body of Christ is to help one another through difficult times.
Galatians 6:2 says: "Carry each other's burdens and in this way you fulfill the law of Christ." Sometimes we can carry our burdens to a trusted friend. There are other times we need to speak to someone with a little more training in the area of pastoral care.
While my seminary specialization was in this area, and while I have had three units of Clinical Pastoral Education, two of them in a psychiatric hospital, it's still important that I understand my limitations in this area. I feel comfortable with a term Dr. Wayne Oates used for most pastors with some training in this area. He called us "generalists." We know a little about several areas of counseling. Most of us are not experts in any area, mainly because this isn't what we do all day. It's not our specialty.
However, people don't need an expert to help them work through their problems, just as most people who see a doctor don't need a specialist; they just need to need to see the general practitioner. The general practitioner is trained to handle most problems that come through his/her doors. However, the doctor doesn't hesitate to refer when he/she realizes the condition needs the attention of a specialist. A good pastoral caregiver is trained to walk with people through most of life's issues and to recognize when a person can benefit from the expertise of a therapist. In such cases, referrals are made.
Pastoral caregivers do not solve people's problems. Through active listening and an understanding that we gather in the presence of God, empowered by His Holy Spirit, pastoral caregivers help people find ways to solve their own problems. The goal is to coach people, to enable them to find solutions to their problems that might not have been found without counseling. Through this process, it is hoped that one's faith becomes stronger and that one's hope might be renewed. If I think a person would benefit from long-term counseling, (more than three sessions), then I refer that person to a more skilled counselor. People who are suffering from issues that need more in depth counseling need my honest assessment, my recommendation, and my encouragement to follow through.
Counseling sessions do not have to be filled with "God talk" to be spiritual. As I listen to a person share his or her burdens, I'm well aware that nothing positive with result without the working of the Holy Spirit among us. Therefore, prayer is an important part of our meeting, whether the prayer takes place before the person arrives or a prayer is voiced during the time the person is present.
I have benefited from counseling at various times in my life. It's not a sign of weakness to sit down and talk with a pastor or a licensed counselor. If you were driving your automobile down the road and it started making a terrible noise, you wouldn't likely ignore it. You'd take it to a mechanic if you couldn't repair it yourself. Yet, how many people do you know who will ignore signs of trouble in their lives and continue living right on until the "transmission" falls out? Darkness sometimes comes slowly, like the setting of the sun. It slips up on us. Likewise, the light can begin to appear in our lives the same way. Spending time with a counselor can be one of the avenues to help us find the light again.
Don't hesitate to call me, Michael Helms or Erica, our Associate Pastor/ Minister to Families and Richard, our Associate Pastor/ Minister of Music/Senior Adults are also available. Our teenagers might find our Youth Pastor, Justin, easier to speak to about their issues.
